On Integrity

I really love and cherish my work, especially when I feel I really made a difference to someone’s life in a SINGLE session – compared with my colleagues the Psychosexual Counsellors – they work on the same issues, however, it takes a lot longer, almost always more than a single session, to really bring change about – sometimes I sadly deplore my mole-like existence, banished into the escort advertising section by respectable society, and really wish I could just happily chat away to anybody about the details of my work, and just get the respect and acknowledgment that this work REALLY deserves. What a strange world we live in. I recently went to my local health centre to register, and wondered again why any contact with the NHS leaves me so very DEPRESSED. The initial health check is carried out by a young man. He looks at his computer, not at me. When I finally catch his gaze, I smile at him. He doesn’t smile back. He does not LOVE people. He doesn’t even like them. He is a healthcare professional in the NHS. His passion is for facts and statistics, measurements. – What would it be like to work in a team? I’ve been freelance for so long I can’t even imagine it any more. My work evolves constantly alongside with my own personal development. Integrity does not mean to follow a set of rules. The sad thing about working in an organisation is that it expects you to do things that do not really agree with your own judgement, which is demoralising and soul-destroying. I think professionals solve this by doing the right things inofficially, under cover. A returning client recently asked me if my work had evolved in any way. Yes it has! I think I have become able to really meet people where they are, without having to impose too many restrictions. Most tantric practitioners have a kind of system in place to protect them from disrespectful people, or those that use the work for purely sexual reasons, without involving heart or soul. One colleague offers naturist massage for any client, before he can come for tantric massage. Another colleague wants people to read her website before she talks to them. Another one gives elaborate explanations of what the work is about. I used to tell every prospective client that I don’t offer ejaculation at the end. Suffice to say, I now don’t think that’s a good way. While ejaculation is not recommended, it can be beneficial at times, especially when a client needs to feel accepted and at ease on all levels. I have become very good at keeping my boundaries. As opposed to a set of rules, I constantly check within, and – of course – with the client, too! Not everything feels right every time. Integrity seems to be this constant checking-in with your Self, with your instinct. In daily life, to function in the world, we are constantly told to override this instinct, so it takes some work to get back to it, to listen to the inner voice again. Try it out! Be surprised….. Lots of love and namaste to all, Sarani Premanjali